Living The Dream
by demonprosecutor
Summary: All Phoenix fans dream of living the life of everyone's favourite spiky-haired attorney. What happens when Demon Prosecutor swaps places with him? Read on to find out! Crackfic, most probably. SPOILERS for PW:AA. Not sure about genres.
1. A Fangirl Falls

DISCLAIMER: The Ace Attorney series belongs to Capcom

DISCLAIMER: The Ace Attorney series belongs to Capcom. The only character I own in this story is me. Go figure. Enjoy!

"Objection!"

I exploded into a fit of hysterical fangirl cackling. The other passengers on the train stared at me, a mix of fear and pity in their eyes. I got these looks a lot – I was used to it.

The mechanical voice announced that we'd arrived at my stop, so I closed the fan-comic and turned off my laptop. I managed to elbow my way through the crowds, yelling things like, "I'll set my Edgey on you," and, "I've got a taser, and Manny Von K has shown me how to use it!"

I soon found myself on the platform. I stared around, having no idea where I was or why I was there. I had somehow been drawn to the train that day, though I had no idea why. It was a sign, maybe…

That was when I saw it.

A flash of magenta. It had to be him! No one else would wear a suit that colour. I dropped my laptop – which I now regret – and ran after the person. What was that white frill? It had to be a cravat! I yelled out.

"Edgew-"

CRASH!!

The last thing I heard was a cry of apology from the woman who had accidently tripped me up, and then everything went black.


	2. The First Turnabout Part One

DISCLAIMER: Same as before

DISCLAIMER: Same as before. I don't own AA, only myself. Obviously.

"Prosecutor!"

I opened my eyes. My hair was hanging down around my face in spikes like a mane. I wore a smart blue jacket over my white blouse, a knee length blue skirt, and a spiffy gold badge. I had always yearned for a badge like that. I glanced away from the badge to see who was speaking.

"M-Mia! What the hell are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? Of course I'd be here for your first case. And I'm glad I made it on time, too. I have to say, Demon, I'm impressed – not everyone takes on a murder trial right off the bat like this."

"Quite. Why am I here again?" I said, nodding as if I had any idea what she was talking about.

"To defend your client, obviously! You _are_ a defence attorney, after all."

Right. So I was a defence attorney. And Mia was alive. This was normal. Not.

"It's over! My life, everything, it's all over!"

Mia opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, I turned round to do what I had always wanted to do every time I had played this case previously.

"Get over it, jerk. She was a cheating cow anyway." I slapped him. He gave me those puppy dog eyes, so I slapped him again. I would have slapped him for a third time, but Mia stopped me.

"Demon, stop slapping your client! Sorry, Larry, she gets moody when she's nervous," Mia explained while I yelled obstinacies about all of the times that Larry had got in the way, even though most of them hadn't happened yet.

"That's OK. I deserve it. Dude, I'm so guilty! Tell them I'm guilty! Gimme the death sentence! I ain't afraid to die. Oh, it's all over…I…I'm finished. Finished!"

"If only you were," I muttered, gaining a glare from Mia.

"I can't live in a world without her! I can't! Who…who took her away from me, Mo? Who did this? Aww, Mo, ya gotta tell me! Who took my baby away!?"

He burst into tears. And then I discovered the joy of inner-monologue.

_Well, all of the papers say it's you, but _I_ know it's not. No, it's that weird guy who throws his hair at me._

_So, looks like me name is Demon Prosecutor. And I'm a defence attorney. Well, that's stupid. Never mind. This is Ace Attorney. Stupid names are all the range – I'm sure I'll fit right in. _

_My first case, if I remember correctly, was a pretty easy one. A young woman was killed in her apartment, and the unlucky idiot they arrested was her boyfriend, Larry. Larry Butz, one of Phoenix's best friends since high school. One of mine now, since by the looks of thing I've taken over his life. Wow._

_What was that saying again? When something smells, it's usually the Butz. That's true. He's certainly good at getting into trouble. I mean, it's not his fault. He's a good guy at heart, but he just gets in the way. And he's annoying, very annoying. And I guess he usually gives me some piece of evidence that saves my client – so I guess I owe him. I'd better get him not guilty, then._


	3. The First Turnabout Part Two

DISCLAIMER: See previous chapter

DISCLAIMER: See previous chapter.

"Court is now in sess-"

"OBJECTION!"

All eyes turned to me as I slammed the desk dramatically. The judge asked what I was objecting to.

"Oh, nothing. It's just I always wanted to do that. Do carry on, your honour."

There were a few funny looks from the everyone in the court-room, but the judge just shrugged and asked if everyone was ready.

"The prosecution is ready, your honour," Payne said. He was just how I imagined him. Fidgeting nervously, a voice like a strangled goose. I shot him evils across the courtroom.

"I was born ready, you honour," I hissed. I just loved making that dull little prosecutor squirm.

"Ahem. Miss Prosecutor?" the judge said, still not noticing the irony of my supposed name. "This is your first trial, is it not?"

"Technically, no, I've fought fifteen before, two as the lady standing next to me. Chronologically, yes, and boy, am I nervous!" I said with a stupid chuckle that increased the funny looks by approximately seventeen point three percent.

"Your conduct during this trial will determine the fate of your client. Murder is a serious charge. For your client's sake, I hope you can control you nerves."

I smiled and recommended we have a test to ascertain my readiness.

"I was just about to suggest that! Miss Prosecutor, please state the name of the defendant in this case."

"The defendant is Winston Payne. I, the prosecutor, will crush him like the tiny little bug that he is. Wait, that's not right. Your honour, as much as I want to crush Payne, the defendant is Larry Butz, and I'm going to get him not guilty so that he can pay back Edgey his lunch money."

The judge told me that I was correct and next asked me the victim's name.

"The victim is Winton Payne. I, the killer, crushed him like the tiny little bug that he is. Wait, that's not right. Your honour, as much as I want to crush Payne, the victim is Cindy Stone, and I'll find her killer so that Larry will leave a free man and pay back Edgey his lunch money."

I was correct again and the judge's final question was what the cause of death was.

"The victim was crushed like a tiny little bug, just as I will crush Winston Payne once this trial is over. Wait, that's not right. She was thwacked over the head with a blunt object. But I'm still going to crush Payne when the trial is over. And Larry's going to pay Edgey his lunch money back."

The judge told me that, once again, I was correct. He also asked me to stop intimidating the prosecution, but didn't protest against me crushing him like a bug when the trial was over. I understood his reasoning. He then went on to ask Payne about the murder weapon.

"The murder weapon was this statue of, "The Thinker." It was found lying on the floor next to the victim." The statue was added to the court record, and I got a few more funny looks as I sang that cute little jingle. Mia elbowed me, indicating that I was heading towards a guilty verdict if I didn't stop messing around.

"Prosecutor…"

"Chief, if you're about to tell me about the Court Record, I already know. I _have_ just graduated from law school. Sort of."

"The prosecution calls the defendant, Larry Butz, to the stand."

I slapped my hand against my forehead. I remembered this infuriating testimony vividly. Now I was going to have to go through the whole thing again. And this time, it was for real.


	4. The First Turnabout Part Three

DISCLAIMER: Yup, same old, same old

DISCLAIMER: Yup, same old, same old. See previous chappie. SPOLIERS for T&T. Also, I don't own Go, Diego, Go.

"Ahem. Mr. Butz. Is it not true that the victim had recently dumped you?" Payne asked in that annoying voice of his.

"Hey, watch it buddy! We were great together! We were Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Anthony!" Larry yelled, making his scary face. It was even scarier in real life.

"Yeah!" I added, "Like Diego and Mia!"

"Huh?" Mia asked, "How do you know about…huh?" I explained that I meant Diego from the programme Go, Diego, Go and that Mia was my imaginary girlfriend for him – she was from a spin off show that I had invented. The script had been rejected by the producers. Funnily enough, she didn't believe me, but we decided to leave it there.

Larry and Payne had a little spat over whether or not Cindy had dumped him or not. I stood there, bored as that time in PW:AA:5 when I'd had to do the whole investigation all over again from scratch. I was desperately missing the speedy touch screen of my DS.

I sang the jingle again as Payne presented the passport, which I then put on my head as a hat. The judge gave me one of those looks and I sheepishly took the passport off my head and put it down on the desk. There was really a lot more to that guy than his nine animations let on.

Then Payne started talking about the victim's Sugar Daddies.

"It appears the victim had several 'Sugar Daddies.' Older men who gave her money and gifts. She took their money and used it to support her lifestyle."

"OBJECTION!" I yelled, slamming the desk, "How do you know? Your Honour, the defence accuses Winston Payne of being one of these said Sugar Daddies. Fearful for his life if his girl/boyfriend found out, he then _killed_ her!"

The courtroom gasped.

"This is a serious accusation indeed," the judge said to me. "Do you have any evidence to back this up, Miss Prosecutor?"

"Hell, no," I replied, "It was just a whim. On reflection, I probably wasn't right. In fact, scrap that. Defendant, you went to the victim's apartment that day, didn't you?"

"OBJECTION!" Payne yelled, "The defence is trying to steal my job. Defendant, you went to the victim's apartment that day, didn't you?"

"Yeah! Yeah! I was there! I went!" Larry said, getting strangely excited. "She wasn't home, man… So, like, I didn't see her."

"OBJECTION!" I yelled before Payne could open his mouth. "That's a lie, Butz. You went into that apartment and you saw her. And you stabbed her with a carving knife, didn't you? Well, didn't you?!"

"Er…no," Larry replied. The court fell silent.

"Oh," I said, "Call the next witness, Payne."


	5. The First Turnabout Part Four

DISCLAIMER: SPC (See Previous Chapter)

DISCLAIMER: SPC (See Previous Chapter) Sorry that there's so much speech in this – it's hard in the court scenes. And thanks to Wikitionary for the definition of quailed.

"Mr Sahwit," Payne said to the witness, "You sell newspaper subscriptions. Is this correct?"

"Oh, oh yes! Newspapers, yes!" Sahwit replied. I cackled with disbelief. More funny looks, but it was worth it.

"Miss Prosecutor?" the judge said, raising an eyebrow.

"What? Oh yeah. On with the cross examination."

_I was going door-to-door selling subscriptions when I saw a man fleeing an apartment._

"Hold it! Newspaper subscriptions?"

"Yes, newspaper subscriptions."

"And what was your selling point?"

"An extra low price and a twenty percent price cut for new customers."

"Dang, that's a good selling point. OK, I'll sign up. Demon Prosecutor, Fey & Co-"

"Miss Prosecutor," the judge interrupted, "Would you please leave this for _after_ the trial? Thank you. Carry on, Mr Sahwit."

_I thought he must be in a hurry because he left the door half-open behind him._

"Hold it! Are you sure it was half-open? Could it not have been…half-closed?!"

"What's the difference?"

"Oh, there's a difference alright. There's a _big_ difference. There's a difference that could turn this case around completely! Unfortunately, I can't quite remember what it is right now. Carry on."

_Thinking it strange, I looked inside the apartment._

"Hold it! Didn't you even consider what the man could have been running from? There could have been aliens in there, Mr Sahwit. Aliens from out of space!"

"Well, that didn't really cross my mind, to be honest."

"Oh yes it did. You _knew_ there were aliens, didn't you? You knew because… you are one! You're really a little green man from outer space, aren't you? And I have evidence to prove it!"

"Miss Prosecutor," the judge said, "If you have evidence proving that this witness is in fact a little green man from outer space, then please do present it to the court."

"Um, well, the thing is…I left it at home. Sorry. Just carry on with the testimony."

_Then I saw her there…a woman…not moving…dead!_

"Hold it! I do believe you that she was dead, Sahwit. However, I can't agree that she was not moving. After all, Cindy Stone is in fact – a zombie! Yes, and to confirm this, the defence calls the victim, Cindy Stone, to the stand!"

The courtroom fell silence. The judge banged his gavel and told Sahwit to continue his testimony. I was most annoyed, but decided to shut up. At least it would stop Mia poking me with the pencil like she was when I was going on about aliens and zombies.

_I quailed in fright and found myself unable to go inside the apartment._

"Hold it! What the hell does quailed mean?"

Payne rolled his eyes and explained: "A verb meaning to shrink or waver; to become fearful or doubtful." I stuck my tongue out at him, blushing with the humiliation. Mia sighed and shook her head.

_I thought to call the police immediately!_

"Hold it? Why did you think that?"

"A woman was _dead_ in front of me. What was I meant to do?"

"Well, come on! The police aren't actually that helpful, are they? They sort of get in the way, in my opinion. Like prosecutors – apart from Edgey, Edgey's awesome. Yeah, well, carry on."

_However, the phone in her apartment wasn't working._

"Hold it! Hang on. So you didn't go into the apartment, but you know the phone wasn't working. Riiiight, that makes sense. What, are you physic or something? Was that what she told you with her last breaths? "I can see the light…goodbye cruel world…by the way, the phone isn't working." "

"There was a cordless phone on a shelf in the entranceway. I reached inside and tried using that to call..."

"And the phone wasn't working, correct?" Payne interrupted, "What happened next?"

_I went to a nearby park and found a public phone._

"Hold it! And you went straight to the phone?"

"Oh, yes, of course!"

"Are you _sure_ you didn't stop to play on the swings?" I narrowed my eyes. The witness was sweating and his nervousness was showing."

"Well…"

"Objection!" Payne yelled, "This line of questioning is pointless! Witness, continue with your testimony."

_I remember the time exactly: it was 1:00 PM._

"Hold it! 1:00 PM? Shouldn't you have been having lunch around about then?"

"I had already had lunch."

"What did you have?"

"A samurai dog with extra onions."

"Nice. I had a cheese toastie. Carry on."

_The man who ran was, without a doubt, the defendant sitting right over there._

"Hold it! Prove it."

"Um…"

"Oh, never mind, that line of questioning never leads anywhere. Just shut up for a minute while Mia tells me something that makes no difference what so ever and I'll contradict you."

Mia opened her mouth to tell me something that made no difference what so ever but, before she could speak, I slapped her with the court record. That shut her up long enough for me to present some evidence.

_I remember the time exactly: it was 1:00 PM._

"Objection! Wow, that felt good. Anyway. So, you found the body at 1:00 PM, huh? Mr Sahwit, I suggest that, before you come to court, you find exactly what you're testifying about. Quite how you could have mistaken 4:00 PM for 1:00 PM I'm not sure – did you get up three hours late?"

"Huh?" Sahwit questioned, genuinely confused.

"Listen, idiot, the autopsy report plainly say that the victim was killed some time after 4:00 PM. There was no dead body in that flat at 1:00 PM, unless the victim had a few secrets, but that's irrelevant right now. So, how do you explain this?"

"Objection! This is trivial! The wit-" Payne began. He stopped abruptly after I threw a bug that I had just swatted with the court record at him. I laughed as it fell down his shirt and the bailiff had to come and help him. Finally, Payne stopped screaming and we turned back to the trial.

"Mr Sahwit, please testify again about the time of discovery."


	6. The First Turnabout Part Five

DISCLAIMER: SPC

DISCLAIMER: SPC and I don't own Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer does funnily enough.

_You see, when I found the body, I heard the time._

"Hold it! So, the body spoke to you, huh? Wooo…the time is 1 O'clock…wooo." Yeah, I get voices in my head too. They tell me to burn things." Silence filled the courtroom as I stood there looking smug for some reason that I hadn't figured out yet.

"Ummm…carry on, Mr Sahwit," the judge said.

_There was a voice saying the time…It was probably coming from the television._

"Hold it! So, the television was on? I guess that makes it possible that the killer could have leapt out of the television and killed the victim? What was on the television at the time of death, Payne?"

"Ummm, the Jerry Springer show…"

"So it's possible that Jerry Springer could be the real killer! Bailiff, please bring Jerry Springer to the stand!"

"Unfortunately, Miss Prosecutor, we have already spoken to Mr Springer," the judge interrupted, "And he has a watertight alibi. He was shooting a live show at the time. It is impossible he could have been the killer."

"Oh," I said, disappointed. "Carry on, then."

_Oh, but it was three hours off, wasn't it?_

"Hold it! Who said anything about that?"

"You did," Sahwit replied. I shrugged and he continued with his testimony.

_I guess the victim must have been watching a video of a taped programme!_

"Hold it! What video would tell the time? What, did she tape the news or something? Or did she take a home video of a speaking clock? Don't answer, I know you're lying anyway."

_That's why I thought it was 1:00 PM!_

"Hold it! So that's why you thought it was 1:00 PM, huh?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure that you're sure?"

"Objection!" Payne yelled, "This line of questioning childish. Witness, return to the testimony."

_Terribly sorry about the misunderstanding… _

"Hold it! Yeah, you should be! So you'd better give me twenty dollars when this trial is over."

"Yes, yes, of course. Or I could make it up to you in…other ways…"

"You know what, just carry on with the testimony."

Mia was about to say something pointless, so I caught her off guard by yelling objection. The court's eyes turned me.

"Did the victim have a portable television, Mr Payne?" I asked, casually examining my bitten nails.

"N-no. Why?" Payne said. He was starting to get very nervous.

"Well, I suppose the witness must have brought his own because no _normal_ TV would have worked that day!"

Everyone gasped and I grinned smugly as I explained about the blackout, waving the record in the air. I tried to hide the doodles I had drawn of Gant on an electric chair. There was some hustle and bustle as Sahwit suddenly "remembered" what had really happened. He was allowed to testify yet again.

Author's Notes – IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Some of you might have already heard as I am posting this _everywhere_, but I'm going to be disappearing for a month and a half as of tomorrow. Whether or not I will be able to access has yet to be revealed. If not, bye bye and see you in October!


	7. The First Turnabout Part Six

DISCLAIMER: It's me! I'm back! : D Ace Attorney belongs to Capcom, and on with the chapter!

* * *

_Actually, I didn't "hear" the time…I "saw" it!_"Hold it! What's with the inverted commas or whatever they're called? Were they _really_ necessary, Mr Sahwit?"

"Yes."

"… OK then. Carry on."

_There was a table clock in the apartment, wasn't there!_"Hold it! What type of table clock?"

"A…green one?"

"Are you _sure_, Mr Sahwit? Could it not have been…a BLUE one?!"

Everyone in the courtroom gasped. Murmurs spread along the spectators like a Mexican Wave.

"This could have a serious impact on this case, Miss Prosecutor. Please present evidence to the court proving that the clock was in fact blue."

"Evidence? Who needs evidence? I was just making stuff up. Carry on with the testimony, witness."

_Yeah, the murder weapon! The killer used it to hit the victim!_"Hold it! Used it to hit the victim, eh? Could the killer not have stabbed the victim with the clock? Could the victim not have been _poisoned_ by the clock?"

"Demon!" Mia hissed, "Have you even _read_ the case file?"

"You see, I was going to, but then…well, this programme was on the telly and I _really_ wanted to watch it, so…witness, please continue testifying before my mentor kills me with that rather sharp pencil.

_That must have been what I saw._"Hold it! Are you sure this isn't what _I _saw? I mean, we could have switched places by some mysterious force! I could be Frank Sahwit, and you could be Demon Prosecutor! How weird would that be?"

Everyone glared at me. I shrugged my shoulders. It was worth a try.

"Now," Mia said, "Find the contradiction!"

I ducked under the bench and started rummaging around in my handbag. Mia kicked me and asked what I was doing.

"I'm trying to find the contradiction. I could have _sworn_ I put it in here somewhere." She rolled her eyes and pointed to the confused witness.

"Oh! _That_ contradiction. That makes sense. Witness, repeat something so I can object to it."

_There was a table clock in the apartment, wasn't there!_"No, not that!"

_Yeah, the murder weapon! The killer used it to hit the victim!_"Objection! What was the murder weapon, Mr Sahwit?"

"Um…a table clock?"

"Nope. It was a statue. A very heavy statue of the Thinker. Is this a table clock, Mr Sahwit?"

"Whaa? Y-you with your "objections," and your "evidence"…Just who do you think you are!?"

"Actually, I don't really know at the moment."

"Objection!" Payne screamed, causing me to cringe. "As the witness stated, this statue is indeed a clock. The neck is a switch. You just tilt it, and it says the time out loud."

"Whoo! That's some cute machinery!" I said to everyone's confusion. Even I didn't know what that meant.

"Well, Miss Prosecutor? It appears that the witness's testimony was correct. This is a clock. Do you have any problems with his testimony now?"

"You bet, your honour. I'd like everyone to look at this clock. Now, what is the time?"

"I…don't…know?" the judge said. I'd obviously confused him.

"So, how did the witness know by looking at this clump of whatever-it's-made-of what the time was? He'd have to hear it. If Larry was the killer, he'd know about the clock and wouldn't have sounded it. I doubt he went in, killed his girlfriend and then thought, "Oh, one more just for old time sake," then sounded the clock and ran away giggling. If I was planning a murder – not that I am – I wouldn't do it like that."

"So, Miss Prosecutor," the judge said, "What is your explanation?"

"Well, duh! He's the _killer_! He _killed _her! Which is what killers usually do – therefore he is a killer. He killed her because he is a killer, and he is a killer because he killed her. See? That's logic."

The Mexican Wave of murmurs began again, and a few people in the corner actually did a Mexican Wave. They stopped when the judge called for order and asked me for my evidence.

_Oh damn,_ I thought, _I totally forgot that._"Yeah, evidence! I totally remembered that! Yeah, gimme the clock. I'll probably break it, but whatever. Hey, Payney! Chuck it over and I catch!"

Payne threw me the clock across the courtroom. Of course, I didn't catch it, but Mia did. Yes, for once Mia actually did something _useful_. It was certainly a first.

"Ok, guys, listen real carefully." Beep I think it's 8:25.

"Payney," I said, "What's the time?"

"It's 11:25…Ack!"

I bowed Edgey style, mimed accepting a trophy and did a victory lap around my bench.

"I believe you owe me a not guilty, your honour." I smiled a smug smile and glared at Payne who shrunk back in fear.

"W-wait! So what if the clock's running three hours slow? It proves nothing! How do you know it was running three days slow on the day of the murder!? If you can't prove that, you don't have a case!"

_Ooops, _I thought, _I completely forgot that._"Don't worry!" I said, "I completely remembered that! Um…I…yeah…"

"Miss. Prosecutor? It seems you lack the critical evidence to support your claim. This means I cannot let you indict the witness. Unfortunately... This ends the cross-examination of Mr. Frank Sahwit.

Sahwit ranted on for a bit. I stared blankly at the wall, my mouth open. This was stupid. I knew something was about to happen, but I just couldn't remember what…

"Not so fast, Mr Sahwit!"

"Weird Lady! I mean Mia! I mean Chief!"

"Listen up, Prosecutor! Don't throw this one away, not like this! Think! Try think-"

"No, no, no, no. Your about to tell me to think outside the box, and that's _annoying_. Don't worry. I can do this one without clichés."

I turned slowly towards the court, preparing to present my evidence. I closed my eyes and picked up the item I was going to present.

"You say the clock was already running slow on the day of the murder," the judge said gravely. "Have you found evidence to support this claim?"

"Yes, your honour. _This_ is my evidence – take that!" I turned sharply, holding the evidence out in front of me. The crowd went quiet.

"Miss Prosecutor," the judge said, "I'm not quite sure what this has to do with your defence attorney's badge.

"W-wait! Wrong evidence. Here it is – take that!" I thrust the passport out before me dramatically. Mia smiled, though she was obviously annoyed with the whole dramatic thing.

"So, the victim had just returned home from abroad the day before the murder. And, as my laptop has just told me, the time difference between here and Paris in nine hours. So when it's four here, it's one there, right? I'm sure even Payney over there can understand that. The clock wasn't three hours slow, it was nine hours fast. Our lazy victim could have prevented all of this had she just reset her clock when she arrived home – but, luckily, she didn't. So now I've won."

I smiled smugly as Sahwit's face turned red. I watched cheerfully as anger filled every corner of him until, suddenly, I remembered what happened next. I jumped out the way and shoved Mia into the place where I had been standing. She screamed as the wig hit her square in the face. I laughed and wished I had a camera.

* * *

"Well," the judge announced, "This case has certainly turned out differently than we all expected. Mr Payne…your client?"

"He…er…he was arrested and has been taken away, your honour. And also, the prosecution objects to the defence making the L sign. It's very off-putting."

"Overruled. Miss Prosecutor?"

"Yeah? What do you want…your honour?"

"I have to say, I'm impressed. I don't think I've ever seen someone complete a defence so quickly and find the true culprit at the same time!"

"Well, your honour, I am amazingly amazing. Now can we just get the not guilty over and done with so that I can go and crush Payne?" Payne shivered.

"Of course. This court find the defendant, Larry Butz…

N O T G U I L T Y

Confetti fell from the skies. I glanced up to see Gumshoe in the corner. I figured that he must be getting paid for it.


	8. The First Turnabout Part Seven

DISCLAIMER: Blah blah, don't own.

I grabbed a polystyrene cup and filled it with black coffee. I wasn't planning on drinking it, I just wanted to hold it. Or to be seen holding it. Either way made me seem cool

"Prosecutor!" Oh, she still hadn't seen the irony. "Good job in there! Congratulations!"

I took a sip of the coffee, trying to remember the script from the game. Phoenix had then said that he owed it all to Mia. What a load of rubbish.

"Thanks, Chief. I owe it all to me."

"Oh. Well, it's been a while since I've seen a trial end on such a satisfying note!"

I frowned. I'd never seen her so happy before. The rosy cheeks, the enthusiastic grin - this sprite certainly wasn't in the game. Of course, not everyone was happy.

"My life is over…"

"What the hell, Larry? You're life isn't over. I just made sure of that. What's your problem, man?"

"But…but my Cindy-windy's gone, man! Gone forever!"

"Hey, talking about windy, I know a really nice lady that I think could just fill the gaps that Cindy's left behind. She's a security guard – you like older women, right?"

"Congratulations, Harry!" Mia chipped in. I threw my coffee over her.

"You idiot, Mia! You just spent the whole trial having a go at me for getting people's names wrong and then you go and…and…gah, just forget about it. No-one ever listens to me anyway. Larry, just give Mia the clock and get my non-payment over and done with."

"Huh? Oh! H-here, take this. It's a present! It's not the murder weapon – I made two. One for her, one for me."

I twiddled my thumbs as Larry began to sob and tell me about how Cindy hated him and stuff. I really didn't care, but then Mia nudged me and I gave in.

"Check this out, Larry. You weren't just some idiot to her like you are to everyone else. Seriously, man, this is a heavy clock. She took this lump of uselessness to Paris with her. If that's not something, what is?"

Larry smiled weakly. He thanked me for being his lawyer. I shrugged – it was the nearest thing I was going to get to actual payment.

Mia invited me over to dinner. I said yeah, hoping to find out where I lived and all of that. There was something bugging me in the back of my mind. Something I'd forgotten. A memory that hadn't yet been formed, floating around in the void between reality and fiction.

_Never mind_, I thought as I walked back to Fey & Co., _I'm sure it was nothing important._


	9. Turnabout Sisters Part One

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ace Attorney and this product may contain traces of nuts.

_Wow, it's dark in here. Go figure, the lights are off. _I turned the lights on. Something was still bugging me in the back of my mind. _Oh well, I'm sure it's not important._I figured the chief must be in her office. She couldn't have gone home – her sister was coming round, so she wouldn't just ditch me like that. It was odd though; I was sure that something was supposed to happen before I met Maya. It was infuriating. In this world, it was hard to remember what had happened while I was playing Ace Attorney. _Oh well, I'm sure it's not important._

I had not been impressed by the living quarters with which I had been presented the night before. Phoenix's flat – just down the road, next to the burger restaurant – was a tip. I immediately tidied up. _He's going to have quite a shock when we swap back. If we swap back_.

I patted Charly and was about to turn the TV on when I noticed a strange smell. It was almost like …

And then I remembered.

"Mia!"

I burst through the door, tripping over my shoes. Phoenix had very bad fashion sense when it came to shoes, and this pair was made of very un-flexible leather. They were two sizes small and impossible to run in.

I turned to the window. When I had played the game, I had felt frustrated that the chief had died so early. Now I felt a pang of anger, a pang of sorrow and a massive dose of guilt. _I could have saved her…_"Sob…sis…"

She was leaning over her, tears rolling down her cheeks. Maya, happy bouncy Maya, sobbing like there was no tomorrow.

"Maya?" I said softly, forgetting that I didn't know her yet. She glanced at me once and collapsed in a heap. I dragged her to the sofa and went back into the office. Remembering Phoenix's actions during Turnabout Sisters, I decided to pay my final respects to Mia, despite knowing we would meet again soon.

I kneeled down beside her and took her hand. It was just as he had said – still warm. _Then, all too quickly, it began to fade… Until finally she was cold._"Chief… Phoenix says hi." _Nice last words, Demon._


	10. Turnabout Sisters Part Two

DISCLAIMER: Sorry I haven't updated for a while – I've been really busy. As for Ace Attorney; I'm working on it but, as for now, I still don't own it. Oh, and Fanta belongs to…Fanta? (Logic in action!)

It was weird seeing everything for real. I'd only ever seen this office as a cartoon until the night before. Now it was real. Real walls, real floor, real computer…

Real corpse.

I had never seen a dead body before, part from dead rabbits when some friends and I were protesting against inhumane rabbit poisoning, and dead mice when I had a cat. But none of that counted anymore.

Before I did anything else, I picked up the phone. It was natural instinct, I guess. Someone's dead; call the police and hope they do something about it. But the screws were loose and the phone wouldn't work.

Which was when I remembered everything.

Redd White, April May, that stupid bellboy with no name. It all came back to me in a sudden burst of memories. Turnabout Sisters. How had I forgotten?

_No time for speculating,_ I though, proud of using a long word. _It's time to get to work. April's going to turn up soon and I need to get my examination done soon._I glanced out of the window. April would be there soon, but she wasn't there now. The Gatewater was just as posh as Phoenix had said. I had never seen it from outside, but I'd learnt all about it during the Engarde case.

My eyes moved down from the window to a statue lying next to Mia. I knelt down beside it. The Thinker: it was an honour for an Ace Attorney Fan to be in its presence.

"I hope you know how much trouble you've caused," I muttered. Then I realised that the clock, being a clock, was unlikely to know much. Then I realised I was talking to a clock and vowed never to drink as much Fanta as I had drunk that day again.

Next I looked at the glass shards on the floor, and laughed at the trouble that _they'd_ caused. It was ridiculous, but I didn't care. This was Ace Attorney. Logic didn't exist and didn't want to exist.

I examined the office chair for the sake of it. I was angry to see that it was a better one than the chair I sat on in the office next door. I'd have to mention that next time I saw Mia.

The ledger on the desk was pretty big, but very little of it had been filled in. I glanced back over the cases but none of the names rang any bells. The cases that I knew about were from a time before Fey & Co.

The desk was perfectly normal, though I noticed a scribble in the corner. "Maya was here." That's nice to know, Maya.

The computer was ancient and made me want to cry. Mia had left it on. Her screensaver was one of those boring fish ones. I decided that I'd come back later and see if she had any photos of her and Diego on there. I was on a mission as a fangirl: to verify my OTP.

I looked at the bookcase. It was full of files and stuff. After this trial, we'd have a massive bonfire and burn all of those. I felt like it.

And then I looked at Mia.

It was weird seeing her there. I knew she'd died instantly, I knew the murder weapon that was used, I knew the killer and I knew the conversation they had had just before she was killed. But there was loads of stuff I didn't know, stuff that didn't matter when it was a DS and Mia was just a character that was annoying and not Edgeworth. I mean, how did Redd get in? That was never pointed out in court. I mean, Mia hardly went downstairs and opened the door to him.

__

Oh yeah. I left the door unlocked, didn't I? Well, I blame Phoenix for giving me his clumsiness.

I searched my pockets and, thanks to good old Phoenix, found some rubber gloves. I slipped them on and picked up the receipt next to Mia. For a minute I considered ripping it and chucking out the window, but I knew that if it was found then it would incriminate Maya even more.

I left Mia's office to go and find Maya. She wasn't on the sofa, but I expected that. She was meant to creep up behind me and scare me, but because I knew that, I spun around and scared her.

"Hi," I said, "My name's Demon. I work here, as I'm sure your sister has told you." It was weird. I wasn't used to saying that my name was Demon Prosecutor and that I worked at a fictional law offices. _Oh wait…I do that all the time…_"M-" she began.

"Maya. I know. You're Mia's little sister. You're a spirit medium, and your name is written in blood on this receipt." _Nice one, Demon._

"H-Huh?"

"Before Mia died, she wrote this in her own blood – or at least, that's what the police are going to think. Maya, listen, I know what happe-"

Whee-ooo Whee-ooo Whee-ooo Whee-ooo

I span round as Gumshoe burst through the door. He must have been confused as to why I burst into fits of fangirl cackling, but he carried on with his dramatic police-speech nonetheless.

"Freeze! Police! Alright, I'm Detective Dick Gumshoe, see?"

"See what?"

We stared at each other. The poor guy looked genuinely confused. After a while, he just carried on.

"We received a report from the building across the way, see. Got a person saying they saw a murder. Anyway, I don't want either of you moving one inch, 'kay?"

"Is this some kind of code? C-C-K. What does that stand for?"

"Huh?"

After another staring contest, Gumshoe used his amazing detective skills to notice the piece of paper I was waving about in the air and had been waving about in the air for the past ten minutes.

"Whoaaaaaaaaaaaah! Scuze me! This word, "Maya," mean anything to you?" He pronounced her name wrong, but Maya was so traumatized she didn't seem to notice.

"Um…that… That's my name."

Within a minute, Maya was arrested. I tried to stop them taking her away, screaming obscenities about Redd White, but no-on listened to the nutty lady with the weird hairstyle.

They took me into questioning, but I was let out soon after. The said I was no help, and that I was just making stuff up. I wasn't – I was telling them the truth. But when they asked me for evidence, I had none.

Yet.


End file.
